Where I stood.

I realize that everybody is their own person with their own thoughts and feelings. And I realize that everybody is different. Even though sometimes you wish they weren't. It's something that you don't think about consciously. It's something that's just there, and you can't change it. Because if you could and if you did, you would be playing God.

It's hard to accept things you can't change though. I don't mean things like the color of your hair, or what kind of car you own...I mean things like the weather, or how other people see you, or even how other people feel. Even though so badly you want to. It's like being a parent, or a teacher...There's really only so much You can do. Sometimes I hate it. I hate feeling so helpless. It's too unfamiliar and just so frustrating. It's like sitting on the sidelines, watching yourself head straight for a wall at full speed. Not being able to stop it. And then you realize, it wasn't you because you were sitting there the whole time.

Sometimes you think you have life all figured out. You think you know all you need to know, and you're just out taking a walk enjoying things...when all of a sudden a train hits. And you wake up three weeks later, just to be hit by another train. It sucks because there's nothing you can do...suddenly no matter where you walk, you're just on another track with another train heading straight for you. Sometimes you can jump out of the way, but other times you can't...most of the time you can't. And there's nothing you can do.