Friday, February 26, 2010

There is nothing like being left alone again, to walk peacefully with oneself in the woods. ~Knut Hamsun~

Okay, Here's the short story. My roommate and I got into a bit of a heated argument. There was some yelling, some of my words didn't come out correctly, but....I was finally able to get what i had been wanting to say for the past six months out of my head. And not just write them down to vent, but actually get them the spoken form.

I voiced how I thought she wasn't as honest as she was trying to say she was. I told her I didn't believe her when she said she would miss me because she hasn't been around the past Two months. I told her that her excuse for moving out at last minute wasn't valid with me because she wouldn't be saving money, she'd be losing money. I even had direct examples of how true that statement was. But that I didn't truly care because I was tired of the drama. I told her that six hours is plenty of time to throw away some garbage, after I had put a couple pieces of plastic on her coffee table was comparatively small to how often I had cleaned up after her in the kitchen. We argued about how often she "used" the kitchen. and guess what? apparently using the kitchen means using more than a cup & bowl/plate & utensils. We argued that I wasn't allowed to touch her stuff (Which I wouldn't do anyway, because I'm tired of helping her). I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I'm so tired of her. It's like she's so ungrateful for the help she does get. Selfish is the word one could use to describe both of us at this point. We argued about how everytime I try to talk to her on a serious level, she starts crying and I mentioned how much I hate that because nothing gets resolved. I mentioned that I think our friendship could be repaired if she bothers to show up when she says she'll show up. That was taken the wrong way, and we argued about that. I told her that she should have talked to her own friends. That I wasn't her errand girl, and that I didn't appreciate so many people coming up and talking to me about her since she seems so incapable of answering her own texts with a simple "I'm going to have to tell you later, I'm unable to right now". I said that her friends would have understood and they would have been fine with it. The argument ended with me telling her she could have been a better friend to everybody, and that She sucked as a friend. It wasn't a good conversation, and I didn't stay clam as I had planned. but at least I got everything (and then some) out of my system that I had been holding back for a good five months. I'm not happy to say that I do regret some of the things I had said, but this is how I feel. Never in my life have I had a lazier roommate. I admit wholeheartedly that I'm glad she's moving out. I'm quite happy that she'll be somebody else's problem. Since moving in she has complained about the cost of rent...or the location of the house...or that our neighbors are noisy...there's always something for her to complain about. Personally, Rent is just fine...Location of the house can't be changed, and if you don't like it, you weren't forced to move in...the neighbors aren't that loud but being above us there's going to be some noise, learn to deal with it.

In conclusion, I'm glad she's leaving. I'm sad our friendship wasn't strong enough to withstand a bit of a talk,'s okay because I don't want to be her friend anymore. I'm having a celebration saturday night. and while that may seem rude, I feel like I'll be liberated. I'll have Freedom to allow my alarm clock to actually work. I'll no longer have to play the roll of a mother! hahahaha! I'm happy. I know this post doesn't truly portray that, but I am happy.

I know I've complained a lot...but, I just have to get this out there. It's the easiest way to update everybody all at once. Thanks for reading, and I'm sorry I've rambled on too long.